Grumbles and smiles

When I arrived in France in 1984 I was curious about everything. I asked lots of questions and got lots of interesting answers. Before coming to France I knew that the French had the reputation of always complaining about everything. I discovered that this reputation was based in reality. I also discovered that going on strike was almost a national sport.

I remember talking to a very old Toulousain and I asked him, “Why do you French people complain and grumble all the time? You live in a beautiful, modern country where you have lots of social advantages, free education for all and great food and wine. But still you moan and grumble and protest. Can you tell me why.”

Before answering he moved his soggy Gauloise cigarette from one side of his mouth to the other a few times. This was fairly easy for him since he had no teeth to get in the way, and his cigarette could circulate quite freely. Looking at me sadly, as if I were to be pitied, he shook his head a few times, and said,

“ Vous n'avez rien compris. Nous avons tout ça parce que nous râlons tout le temps.”

“You really don't get it, do you? We have all of that because we complain all the time.”

This may come as a shock to those of you who hail from a country where saying that everything is great all the time is synonymous with social correctness and a healthy patriotism.

I once asked an American friend, “Why do you guys smile at everybody, even when you don't know them and you're not trying to sell them something?”

I got a very American reply, “That person may not be my friend, but they could be a future friend! You have a good one!”

Don't feel rejected if people you don't know don't smile at you. The reason that the French appear cold and aloof is that they feel there has to be a reason to be warm and smiling with somebody. After all, people they don't know may not be their enemy, but they could be a future enemy.

If you smile spontaneously at people, you shouldn't force yourself not to smile. Just don't take it personally when the smile is not returned.

Without forgetting that a smile is often contagious. In spite of themselves, some people will involuntarily smile back, and later ask themselves, “Where on earth do I know them from?”