You don't need to lose your nerve

Recently I was helping somebody find their way through their mobile telephone contract. She wanted to know exactly what she was entitled to according to her contract with Orange.

She had heard about the banning of rip-off “roaming charges” in Europe as from June 2017 but then made the understandable mistake of going in to an Orange store for precise confirmation. At the store thought she was told something different, and left even more perplexed and anxious than before.

During our chat, she made this sad remark

“ Since moving to France pretty recently, I have lost any nerve I have as far as my rights as a customer! I am never positive that I was truly "wronged" because I always think that it may have been due to a misunderstanding due to language.”

So many problems we encounter in daily life start as misunderstandings due to language, even when the two parties are apparently speaking the same language. Just think: marriage, for example.

However this phenomenon is exacerbated when there is an evident, pre-existing language barrier. Add to this the problem of cultural differences, and there is an immediate increase in the share values of the manufacturers of SSRIs and tranquillizers!

Dealing with “l'administration française” is a whole other problem which I shall look at in my next article. Even the French complain about “l'administration française”!

In a purely commercial context, however, there are simple solutions that always work. If you apply them, you need never worry about losing your nerve due to problems with speaking or understanding French.

The most obvious solution, in France, is to learn the language. That way, you will gradually increase your confidence, and will be able to avoid getting imprisoned in the treacherous ex-pat bubble.

Always bear in mind that even in France, if you are paying for something, the seller needs to make more efforts than you. If there are doubts about understanding, do not hesistate to say, “Lentement, s'il vous plaît.” And repeat it as often as it takes. Don't worry about becoming “chiant” ( a pain in the ar*e ). If they want your money (and they do) they will make the effort to ensure that you have understood correctly.

In my early years in France, over thirty years ago, French people often complained about not understanding my accent. “Ici, c'est français, monsieur!” they repeated, thinking that by shouting I would understand better. I soon learned that people could understand me perfectly when there was a question of my giving them a sum of money greater than ten francs, back in the pre-euro days.

Communication obeyed the “10 fr” rule before pronunciation and grammar rules.

Refuse to be intimidated by an apparently haughty, demeaning manner. They might seem to be implying that it's your responsibility to understand them, but the truth is they want your money regardless of what time they went to bed last night.

Another danger to be aware of is thinking that you have understood when you may have missed a vital point. Pride is not your friend here. Insisting on clarification as often as it takes will pay in the end.

I remember being quite shocked in 1984 when I heard people come into a boulangerie and say, “Donnez-moi deux baguettes.” with never a “s'il vous plaît” in sight. I was shocked, but the shop assistant wasn't. Cultural differences.

I had the reverse problem when I started returning to the UK many years later. At the check-out in M&S, a charming young man asked me, “Have you got the M&S Loyalty card at all?”

“At all?”

What did that mean? Could I say, “Well, I do have just a bit. Will that do?”

Of course, the “...at all?” is just added on to soften the question. Presumably because “Have you got the Loyalty Card?” could sound too brutal and  aggressive for delicate English ears.

It has always been true that "the customer is always right", and even in France it is important to bear that in mind when you are the customer. The French are not automatically and spontaneously nice to people they don't know. My life in France became a lot easier when I realised that as a general rule French people don't like people. They call it “méfiance” (wariness, distrust). This is so different than the USA, for example, where smiling at everyone, everywhere seems to be required by Federal Law.

If, like my FB friend, you feel that you need to go into a store to speak to a real live human being, take the time to prepare your questions. If you can't pronounce the words, write them down and show them to your interlocutor.

If you don't understand their replies, get them to write them down. Often a written word is easier to recognise than the spoken word. If they are in front of a computer monitor, get them to swivel it around so you can see the words and figures.

And don't worry about irritating them by your repeated insistence. If they want your money, they will be patient with you. Or at least they will feign patience, which is the same thing as far as you are concerned.

Special circumstances.

My friend had already signed a contract with Orange. She had already committed to paying them for a year. Orange already had her money, one could say. In that case, another commercial fact can be useful to know: it costs twice as much for a business to acquire a new customer as it does to keep an existing one. That is why loyalty counts.

If you ask the Orange employee, “Voulez-vous que je reste chez Orange?” (Do you want me to stay with Orange?) you will never be told, “Je m'en fous.” (I couldn't care less (UK) I could care less (USA) )

Note for Brits: Concerning mobile phone services in Europe, bear in mind that everything may change when you are no longer European in 2019.